


Late Night Discussions

by graciegirl2001



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I’m onto you, Pining, Widojest - Freeform, Widojest Week, Widojest Week 2020, and so is Nott in this fic, based on that one scene from Ep. 74, late night discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graciegirl2001/pseuds/graciegirl2001
Summary: Nott confronts Caleb about his feelings for a certain blue tiefling after a peculiar conversation about moons.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72
Collections: Widojest Week 2020





	Late Night Discussions

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about a year ago when I was quite behind on Critical Role, but decided to polish it up for Widojest Week. Since then a lot of things have changed but I still love to tinfoil hat this scene.

“Caleb?” 

Nott’s small voice carried from the corner where she sat, rolling a coin across her fingers.

“ _Ja_?” The wizard replied absentmindedly, separating a pile of gold dust into measurements.

It was long past dusk, and the inn had settled into stillness long ago as its residents drifted off to sleep. Caleb could not sleep. And when Caleb was restless, so was his little green friend.

She kept glancing up at him, then looking back to her coin, as if afraid to make eye contact. “That conversation earlier?” Nott spoke again, observing him closely.

“What conversation, my friend?” Caleb brushed another pile of dust into a small vial.

The silver coin disappeared into her fist. She exhaled slowly. “About moons?”

Caleb felt himself flush slightly.“Yes. Moons.”

The goblin girl rocked back onto her hands, tucking the coin into her pocket. She tilted her head. Caleb could sense her hesitation. Realizing his palms were sweaty, he hurriedly wiped them on his pants and continued working.

“It wasn’t...” Nott paused, considering her next words. “It wasn’t really about moons was it?”

Caleb’s hand slipped, scattering the small bag of dust before him. He cursed in Zemnian, ignoring his anxious friend. “I don’t know what you mean.”

She observed him across the room, ears red, flustered. Nott may not have been the most perspective individual, but she knew Caleb better than anyone. This was a losing battle. 

“It’s just, you were talking about feeling invisible- outshone- and well... that wasn’t about the moons anymore was it?”

The wizard’s sigh was heavy, and his hands stilled. Long red-orange hair hung down, obscuring his face. His voice rang out sad and weary. “You are reading too close into things my little friend.”

Nott felt a spark of indignation light in her chest. Not so fast. Caleb could lie to everyone else- he could even lie to himself- but not to her. “You weren’t talking about moons Caleb,” she pressed, and Caleb winced. 

“So what if I wasn’t,” he snapped, sending his companion a sideways glance. “What does it matter anyway?”

She crossed her arms. “Caleb you don’t need to-”

“What does it matter if I am invisible?”

Nott pressed her lips together, brows furrowed. 

“Unnoticed. Weak. Why should I care if I am empty and pathetic? What does it matter if Fjord always has and always will be the shining example, the fearless leader? He’s strong, handsome, charismatic, why wouldn’t... they… be drawn to him?” Caleb spat out the words as if they were nails piercing his insides. 

Nott caught the slight tremble in his tired voice... the way he stumbled on the word _they_ as if he were about to say something else. _Someone_ else. She remained silent.

“I know I’ll never be him Nott. And he’s my friend... they’re all my friends... and friends wouldn’t think this way about each other. But here I am, wallowing in self pity because I… want something impossible.”

“Something impossible?” 

Caleb cleared his throat and collected the last of his supplies, shoving it into the pockets of his coat. “Forget it. Let’s just go to bed.”

After a long pause, “You do… love her then?” Nott voiced quietly, knowing the answer.

The wizard froze, back facing her. She watched his muscles tense, then relax.

Caleb pressed dirty hands against his face, his whole body crumpling. 

“Yes,” he barely whispered, choking on the simple word.

The goblin padded across the floor to the wizard, and pulled one hand away from his face. Caleb didn’t move.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. You’re just so... ya know... quiet and reserved about these things.”

He chuckled in a clipped, humorless way, shuddering slightly with the effort. “I had to let my heart get the best of me and ruin it.” He groaned. “Moons. Sure.”

Nott smiled sadly at her friend, feeling the weight of his confession. 

Caleb turned to Nott, running a hand through his tangled locks. “But who wouldn’t love her? I am not special for loving her.” He sighed again. “Yet I still do. Day after day. She is not even mine to love.”

“Come on, who decides that? Fjord?” Nott scoffed at the comment.

“I do.” Caleb returned sharply.

The goblin promptly closed her mouth.

“She deserves more than a man like me. Someone like him. This is not my place.”

“But Caleb…”

The flaming haired man scooped her into a hug. “You are a good friend Nott. It is kind of you to worry. But it’s best we let this die here.” 

Nott returned the embrace, mouth twisted with worry. “If you say so Caleb.” Then, with a quiet earnestness, “but you deserve happiness too.” 

Caleb paused, setting the goblin girl down, an odd expression of surprise crossing his face. “Maybe so,” he replied, voice low. 

As he turned away, she saw the hint of a forlorn smile touch the corners of his lips. 

“Maybe so.”


End file.
